The Importance of Loving Ourselves
A lot is said about the importance of learning to love others, but today, we want to discuss some biblical truths about loving ourselves.
This begins with a conversation Jesus Christ had with some religious leaders who were challenging his understanding of the Commandments. What he stated in that discussion addresses the crisis of self-love and acceptance that we see today:
36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”[Matt. 22:36-40]
As we read this, it is important to remember that God is love (1 John 4:16) and that Jesus Christ is God’s example to humanity of that love.
Here are (3) observations regarding loving ourselves followed by (3) benefits from reading this passage:
3 Observations about of Loving Ourselves:
1. ‘Loving Ourselves’ is a Commandment
The commandments given in the Bible are God’s rules—divine boundaries for people to implement in order to guide, protect, and enhance their lives and their relationships.
The second commandment says we are to love others AS ourselves. Scripture doesn't say more than or less than, but equal to.
God places loving ourselves alongside our love for Him, which makes it one of our top priorities in life!
2. The Greatest Commandments in Scripture center around Love
Many people view terms like commandments as ‘religious’ or ‘legalistic,’ believing they contradict the idea of love or being loving. Because of their negative experiences, they assume that following ‘rules’ causes unloving behavior. But, Scripture teaches the opposite! It is misguided to think that our proper adherence to Scriptures’ rules on love could result in unloving behavior:
“Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” [Romans 13:10]
None of us can fully understand the depth of love’s meaning or its workings unless we adhere to the principles that accompany it.
In culture, love is often mistakenly associated with manipulation and abuse. Lots of our cultural media suggest this in songs, literature, etc. The reason so many foul plays occur in this realm and cause people to believe love is a losing game, is that many individuals either do not understand how the Scriptures define love or they choose not to follow the principles that govern its practice. Regardless of what cultural opinions state, God has provided His rulebook on loving Him, ourselves and others!
3. Loving Others MORE THAN Ourselves???
Many of us might not realize that we have been conditioned to believe we can/should love others more than ourselves. This belief largely stems from the cultural influence of ideologies like romanticism. These faulty and deceptive influences prompt unnecessary and unwarranted self-sacrificial behaviors, where individuals focus more of their attention and efforts on others at the expense of themselves and their priorities. If this neglect is not corrected, it results in ‘burnout’.
In the church epistle of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul corrects the church’s behavior with practical teaching on the proper conduct of God’s love. This teaching stems from the two foundational commandments quoted by Christ. There, Paul describes self-abasing and self-sacrificial thinking as ‘unprofitable’:
“And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity (not motivated by God's love), it profiteth ME nothing. [1 Corinthians 13:3]
Biblically speaking, ‘setting ourselves on fire to keep other people warm' is a terrible idea!
Before Paul proceeds to clarify what love IS, he opens this crucially important passage of scripture with a caution about what love is NOT, which undoubtedly challenged the beliefs and practices the people had formed from their cultural influences.
Believing we can love others more than ourselves is a sign that we have confused infatuation for real love.
3 Benefits of Loving Ourselves:
1. Loving ourselves fosters accountability and change.
A lack of accountability and a reluctance to change indicate immaturity in self-love. Romans 12:2 speaks about God’s desire to help us transform our lives by changing the way we think. That transformation depends on our following is customary biblically, not what is customary socially:
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” [Romans 12:2]
Psalms illustrates the necessity of Gods intervention to reveal insidious influences that obstruct and derail us:
“23Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. [Psalm 139:23, 24]
As we commit fully to our relationship with God, how we interact with ourselves and others transforms. This heightens our sense of accountability and receptivity to receive instruction and feedback in areas that require improvement.
2. Loving ourselves eliminates fears and fosters self-acceptance
Fear undermines our psychological, emotional, and spiritual growth by introducing tormenting patterns such as insecurity, self-condemnation, and inferiority complexes. Scripture says that as we practice Gods love towards ourselves, it drives our all manners of fear:
“There is no fear in Gods perfect manner of love; but that love drives out all manner of fear. So then, anyone who chooses to remain afraid cannot mature in this love, because their fear suspects torment.” [1 John. 4:18]
We cannot be self-loathing and self-loving simultaneously. However, just as we have learned to find things about ourselves that we dislike, we can use that same ability to find what we love.
3. Loving ourselves fosters desire for wisdom and self-discipline
Loving ourselves is an art that must be learned and requires wisdom for the right approach. While culture associates love with emotionalism and treats discipline like a dirty word, Scripture associates true love with commitment, wisdom, and discipline, which are essential for successful relationships:
“He who acquires wisdom loves himself; one who safeguards understanding will find success.” [Prov. 19:8]
Acquiring the right tools to help us love ourselves is key to finding success. Rather than following the common approach of guessing, 'failing fast', or solely learning from mistakes, God offers us the opportunity to learn and apply what the Scriptures teach about loving ourselves.
With God, self-love is NEVER selfish...
So, remember to show love to the person you see in the mirror!
🫶 - ANOTHEN
